A Proposal for the New Year

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions, but I do want to throw a proposal out there. I become erked each year around the holidays. Don't get me wrong, I love the month or so between Thanksgiving and New Years, but there are a number of events that take place during this festive month that would be stripped off the calendar if I were ruling the world: Float Parades. It all starts up in Times Square with the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Now, out of all the parades out there, this is the one that is least offensive. It may have something to do with the grand scale of the New York location. Who knows? But I can deal with it. The quality of parades then disintegrates as the month goes on. We can view various 'Holiday Parades' between the 2nd and 4th weeks of December, none of which are anything more than the Thanksgiving Day with a dash of snow and Santa. But New Years holds the parade which ends all parades. The single worst parade in American history, and it happens to be in my hometown: The Mummers Parade.

Can someone explain this to me? It seems like a bunch of drunk guys from South Philly get drunk, dress up in outfits, and dance around to string band music all day. This has become a tradition worthy of its own Museum. Am I missing something?

Now, the parade I simply don't understand is the Rose Bowl parade. Is there anything that represents its event worse than the Rose Bowl parade. A big football game preceded by a princess in a rose-laden Cadillac? C'mon. I think this parade started as women's ultimate revenge after a long football season.

Anyway, parades withstanding, Happy New Year.